A Breath of Fresh Air

Disco Skating. These girls have been my friends for ages.

A good friend's farewell.

My first Chick Flick in a month! With my best wardie.

These past twenty-four hours have been refreshing. I sort of realized today how many people there are in my life I am going to miss. How many people I DO miss. I saw so many people at my friend's farewell. All my school friends! And I made some new friends too. I really have a lot of people I love. A lot of people who love me too. I am blessed. But it's a new life ahead! I probably won't see people for months or years. Good thing I have my best friend coming with me to the land of potatoes. My other best friend is going to Hawaii! I have missionary friends in Russia, Taiwan, Paris, California, India, Canada, Mexico, and all across the globe. But I will always have them in my heart and memories and I'm sure that when we see each other again, we will beam with excitement and love. Even if it isn't in this life. Friends will always be friends. And we will always have each other.

The Dog House (13)

Day 13: My Week

Whoever said dogs are mans best friends: LIED.

It's not that I don't like dogs...Because I do...sometimes.

They can be sweet and cuddly and they can keep you company when you don't want a human to talk with. Plus, it's nice to have someone love you and get excited when you come home. Even if they bark obnoxiously and then try to lick your lips for ten minutes straight and you just can't handle the love. It's still kinda fun sometimes.

But they aren't the best of friends.

Those of you who know me are probably very confused. Why? I have never owned a dog in my life. Still don't.

But I have this job...

Which I am EXTREMELY grateful for. I love it so much.

This week I am doing my job. A week at The Dog House.

Dog #1
Lily.
She is probably my favorite. She's white and small and fluffly and easy to carry around and she doesn't bite you or smell horrible. But she's the one who is crazy affectionate and licks me until I am covered in dog saliva. Definitely spoiled.

Dog #2
Madie.
I have to admit...I am kind of scared of this dog. She is medium sized. And black. But her eyes are CRAZY. They are small and black and beady and they just stare me down. One time...she was in heat. And she was INSANE. AH. It was the scariest week of my life. She followed me everywhere and her paws would almost tip me over and I couldn't sleep at night because she would jump on me. So I kicked her and threw her out of the room and cried in fright. But she would come back with her insane eyes. Gah. Never. Ever. Let a dog who is in heat sleep with you.

Dog #3
Ranger.
Ranger is nice. He is huge. And fluffy! And old. But he has some disease or something and I feel bad for him. He smells real bad too. But he doesn't give me any grief because he just sits outside all day.

Dog#4
Tom-Tom.
(They got rid of Tom-Tom about two months ago. But I still have to include him in my list)
HE IS CRAZY. The smallest and wimpiest dog I have ever seen. But with the loudest bark. He barks at everything and everyone. He hides under the couch and won't let anyone touch him and runs around in circles for hours and hours just barking. He has hardly any fur and picks on all the other dogs. I don't understand why someone would want to own him. Him and I had this game where I would taunt him with treats to come out of his hiding places, lure him into the laundry room, then HA! Slam the door in his face. But then he would go crazy and hit himself against the walls and if I left him in their too long it was my own downfall...

This is what my week is going to be like. Sleeping with the dogs. Starting...tomorrow. Wish me luck, please? There are also two cats who bite, a fish tank, and a gerbil(he bites too).



Sometimes I get lonely. So feel free to visit.



And I really do love my job. It's way better than fast food (*cough* Taco Time *cough*) and It's even a little nice to have a huge house to myself to relax and enjoy.

There's also another part of this job that makes all the dog/cat/fish/gerbil/house-sitting part all worth it...


I get to take care of three of the most beautiful souls in existence.

Blake(18), Andrew(16), and Carter(12).

I love these boys so much. :)

I got to see them on Sunday. I have been thinking a lot about these boys because I have included them in many of the Scholarship essays I have been working on (DEATH TO SCHOLARSHIP ESSAYS). But I was pleased with this one. It expresses how much I have learned and how much I love my job at The Dog House.

These boys cannot walk, talk, go to the bathroom, or feed themselves. They have the mental capacity of a 6 month old child and need constant care and attention. I have had the opportunity to work with them and learn more about people. I feed them through a tube in their stomach and I change their diapers and clothes. I sometimes read stories to them or sing to them when they cry. When I first took the job I was a little bit intimidated by what I needed to do. It isn’t necessarily a difficult job; but it is important. If left alone they could possibly hurt themselves or die. I see them relatively often and every time I do I come away feeling like I have learned more about others by caring for them. Even though they are unable to speak, they communicate by laughing and crying and squealing. I can see the love they have for me in their eyes and their smiles. It makes me realize how important they are. They are people with souls. They love. My interaction with them has taught me to love like they love. With no selfishness, no hurt, and no regrets. They are beautiful people. I feel like I have been kinder to others, more aware of their needs, and my heart has a larger capacity to truly love the people in my life because of them.

Not many people get to see celestial beings so often.

It's a beautiful thing.


Staying at The Dog House this week will be fun. No Tom-Tom, Madie hopefully isn't in heat, and I get to cuddle with Lily as much as I want! Maybe I will give Ranger a bath...

Day 13: COMPLETED

Fear...

...is never good.
It prohibits.
It is the opposite of faith, you know.
But sometimes it's still really scary.
The unknown is scary.
Like when you first ride a roller coaster and your dad makes you go but you REALLY don't want to because it's so high off the ground and you've never been so high off the ground and what if you are hurt or what if it doesn't feel good or if you never come down or if you have to sit all alone or if your stomach jumps up and down and you want to throw up or if you cry and everyone sees you crying?
But your dad sits by you and holds your hand the whole time.
Which makes it OK.
I'm thankful for my dad.
And the Preisthood.
And him holding my hand when I'm scared.
It makes everything OK.

Before and After

BEFORE
5:15 Made Won-Tons with Anna
6:00 Carlie comes over!
7:00 New Years Party. Hot chocolate and starburst.
7:30 I play with my food and create Harry Potter with Anna. Even signed with red just like Bob Ross!

8:00 I Swing around on this ladder in Brynne's library. I could not feet more like Belle--and life couldn't get better.

9:00 I am once again with Hannah.
10:00 Different New Years Party! Catch Phrase. Grapes.
11:00 Imaginiff...
11:45 Oh oh oh! 2011 is almost upon us. Finish up our "lasts". A few examples:

"Last text in 2010!"

"Last pretend murder in 2010!"

"Last hug in 2010!"

"Last scripture quoted in 2010!"

"Last time being tickled in 2010!"

"Last popping-a-grape in my mouth in 2010!"

"Last make-shift dance party in 2010!"

It seems to go like that each year...

Then. Suspense builds. We scream and yell and countdown and run around in circles and go outside in bare feet and watch our cellphones until we see the long-waited 12:00am... I always feel like I don't really know how to approach a new year. With gratitude: Yes. With remembrance and memories and nostalgia, almost? I don't know. Or maybe excitement and anticipation and looking forward to new adventures to come. Definitely both. I have been looking forward to 2011 ever since I entered Preschool. GRADUATION YEAR. How crazy is that? So. All these thoughts rush into my head the second before the clock turns and a new beginning...begins.

12:00 Then FIREWORKS... 

AFTER
...And screaming and yelling and dancing around in bare feet on the back porch on ice and running around in circles and wishing everyone near-by "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Then we start our "firsts". A few examples:

"First broken necklace in 2011!"

"First picture taken in 2011!"

"First uncorked bottle in 2011!"

"First dog pile in 2011!"

"First received call in 2011!"

"First wink in 2011!"

"First cheesy smile in 2011!"

1:00 The funny thing about these firsts and lasts is that they really probably aren't the first and last. For instance: you know the whole kiss at midnight tradition right when the new year comes? I bet every lovey couple out there thinks they are the first people to kiss in the new year. Special right? But every other couple is doing the same thing! So they probably aren't the first. Or they just tied with a million other couples in one massive kiss-moment around the world! I guess that's kind of cool...

2:00 Anyway. I've always thought New Years Eve was a little anti-climatic (maybe it's because I don't drink?). Stay up all night and then in one second it's over. But it always makes for good times I suppose. And there is one thing about the New Year that is a WONDERFUL tradition. That is goal setting.

2:54 So here I am almost three in the morning; not wanting to go to bed until I have declared my goals. Setting them would be a good place to start...

Here goes.

1) Be more selfless

2) Keep the Spirit with me ALWAYS

3) Get good grades-4.0 would be nice.

4) Be more understanding and sensitive to the feelings of others

5) Sing AMAZINGLY PERFECT at Carnegie Hall

6) Pay off New York and Europe and save for College-be VERY frugal

7) Exercise and be fit

8) At college--stay strong. Embrace change.

9) Make a special effort to be kind to my mom

10) Make someone feel loved every day

I am satisfied. That is a good start.

3:03 Fewf! Goodnight. And Happy New Year :)

12:07 am

The fog is mystical.



Some Feminine Charms

Sometimes the saying "Sugar, Spice, and everything nice"...has absolutely nothing to do with girls.

But, sometimes--it's perfect.

Today I LOVE BEING A GIRL.

Boys:

"Boogers and bugs.

Boys never listen.
And they moon you.
and they smell...
Eeeeewww!"

Thank you Little Rascals. It's perfect.

Girlfriends are the greatest. Sometimes I don't credit them quite enough because I am fond of boys... mostly/sometimes/occasionally/very rarely/not really. Anyway- they are great.

I just wanna have a slumber party! And giggle. And dance. And jump on the bed with pillows and scarfs and red lipstick. Sing "Love is a Battlefield". Wear bras on the outside of our shirts(never actually done that one...but it might be fun). Smile and cuddle with each other and our boyfriends(the stuffed animals we brought to the party). Draw our wedding dresses and hold a ceremony! Pick flowers and put them in a cup next to the bed. Talk about how boys are so DUMB! And secretly get real giddy just because we are talking about boys! Paint nails. Love babies. Lay on the bed with our heads upside down and laugh and laugh until we fall off.

Doesn't that sound fun?

Ya. It does to me too.

But, I have a confession. I don't really ever do any of that stuff. But today I REALLY want to! I want to be with my girlfriends and just BE A LITTLE GIRL. Not this 18-year-old adult stuff who cares about school and grades and money and work and laws and acceptance. None of that.

My dear friend Anna came over and chatted with me in the car today. We giggled. And laughed. And put pillows over our head. And got scared by my brother and screamed. And got excited about secrets and fun and sleepovers and boys. It was so fun. SO FUN. I am so happy to have a blossoming friendship with that girl. For we are girls. And that was fun today.

So I realized--every old girl is a little girl who has just had more life to live but really wants all the same things and does the same things for fun when she has time but sometimes she just doesn't have time but inside her heart she likes dresses and boys and pretty things and flowers and kindness and giggling and babies and colors. It's true. Maybe if I had the chance I'd put on a big poofy princess dress and a crown and find a ballroom and dance with a stuffed animal pretending he was my prince who had come to sweep me off my feet and take my to our castle where I could sing songs and grow flowers and bake cookies. Yes. I would. I'm still waiting for a prince who ISN'T a stuffed animal. But the substitute will suffice for now.

Girls definitely have their fair share of challenges and trials and I'll be the first to admit sometimes I wish I was a guy. When I was little I thought I had been gypped! I pretended to be a boy with my two brothers actually. I swore never to wear make-up. I wore gym clothes and despised my sister for trying to give me make-overs. But now I want to be a girl. I'm proud of my girlhood. Us girls have some great qualities yes?

Love. Kindness. Caring. Compassion. Service. Charity. Cleanliness. Nuturing. .

If I could remember I'm a daughter of God and I am a little girl at heart who loves and cares maybe I would be less bitter and spiteful. I think so. Very much.
And when I look DEEP into my heart...well not that deep...but a little bit deep into my heart!-I see a little girl who wants to have the perfect slumber party.
And when I looked at some of my pictures...
I realized us girls never change...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since we've no place to go...

Happy Sunday!

Happy Snowy Sunday.

why sundays are happy:

Rest.

Sleep.

More Rest.

Family.

Pancakes.

No School.

Rest.

Naps.

No traffic.

Beautiful weather.

Nutella.

Singing in the kitchen.

Christmas music.

Hot chocolate.

Cuddly Dogs.

Reading.

REST

Of the Many Different Types of Friends

Friends are treasures. I think especially for me, they are priceless.

But. There are many different types of friends. And today, I am thankful for a certain type.

That's the type of friend who you don't see very often.

Odd?
Maybe.

But I love these friends. For a special purpose too. I have friends who live in Springville, Texas, Malaysia, Japan, Pennsylvania, Thailand, Paris, etc. There are probably more countries and cities all around the world where my old friends reside, but sadly, I don't know where. This is because I have failed to keep up with their lives. Some of them I have completely failed to keep in touch with. But some of them, I haven't.

For example:
A month or so ago, my friend from Malaysia randomly showed up in Utah county! His name is Sean and I hadn't seen him for ten years. But he found me on facebook, knew I lived in Utah, and decided to email me saying we should visit. So, we did. I met him at Kneaders. He came to my house and saw my siblings and parents and my home. We talked about memories and Malaysia and why he was here. All good things. I confess, we weren't very good friends in Malaysia. But our families were friends, and we were one of the few LDS families living there, therefore, we were friends. And seeing each other was exciting. Renewing that and remembering that, was exciting.

In a little more than a week, my best friend from Malaysia is visiting for Thanksgiving! Her name is Minami Funakoshi. I haven't seen her in ten years either, but, unlike Sean, Minami and I were best friends. I have a collection of secret notes we passed to one another in elementary school and vast piles of pictures of us. Swimming and cooking and going on fieldtrips, and our halloween costumes, and birthday parties. She is a beautiful painter and I saved a pencil and a bunny she painted for me. I moved back to Utah in 4th grade, and I cried and cried when I gave her a hug goodbye. I thought I would never see her again in my life. But in one week I am! When I first found out she was coming to see me, I couldn't sleep for days! I am so excited I can hardly contain it. She will always been my friend even though this time round, it truly might be the last time I see her. I will never know. But I will always think of her on her birthday and tell others about how she was a part of my childhood.

Then yesterday,

I went to Springville to see some of my friends in a musical. I have a couple friends who live there and I see none of them very often. Some once a month. Some once a year. But when I saw them yesterday I was jumping off the walls in excitement! I'm not personal with them, they aren't my best friends ever, but they are my friends. And because I never see them, there is always a joy in talking to them and catching up and remembering all the things we've done together! Admirable adventures, daring dates, funny films, beautiful bikerides, magical dances, smelly shirts, pen pals, texting buddies, shirking sheep, and lots of loud laughing. What could be better?

Then there's also friends who perhaps, don't go to your school, or you don't have any classes with. But, you admire them with all your heart and keep those friendships up because of the type of people and examples they are to you. They have the capability to cheer you up and to be there for you unexpectedly. All those friends you hope respect and honor the person you are, the same way you respect and honor them. The ones you love and adore but might not hang out with on the weekends or even see very often. I am thankful for these friends.

Obviously, I love all my close friends. But, I want to say a special thanks to those friends who maybe aren't so close to me. The ones who might not know how much I love and admire them. The people who when I see my face lights up with joy and I run to hug them because it has been too long! The people who light up with joy when they see me too. The ones I sometimes miss with all my heart.

Oh, to love and be loved!

One Simple Joy

I have the best job in the world.

Teaching.

I taught piano today and absolutely adored my students. What is better than hearing their progress and practice and satisfaction?

I hope I can teach all my life. As a mother and as a wife and a friend and a musician and a school teacher.

It's one of my dreams.

How beautiful would it be to inspire?