Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
The Return of the Shelbi
Hello again.
Yes, I know. It's been years. Literally.
But it really seems like I was in a galaxy far far away for a while and now it's time to come back to earth. (If you can call Provo, UT 'earth').
So. I'm married.
I'm a zoobie.
I still have a long school life ahead of me.
I'm a brunette now.
And....I've discovered a personal demon inside my mind called GAD. General Anxiety Disorder. Or... as I like to call it, the strange clarity sucking cloud that I wish I could punch but can't see.
You could also call it Groping for Air in a Deep abyss.
Sometimes, I wonder what happened to the me who used to write this blog. Where did she go? Why is she so different? Can she write again? Is naïveté the cure for lethargy? Is she better in a small way? Or is she all worse?
My counselor would try to help me see that you can lose naïveté without losing childlike joy and optimism. I believe her. But I haven't practiced it enough to learn how.
If you were a little fly following me around nowadays, you'd find me cooking, cleaning my house, playing my piano, painting, doing yoga in my living room and probably laughing and laughing at my husband dancing around the house in his underwear.
You might see me listening to a new audio book while I go running.
Or....baking homemade bread.
I'm still Shelby.
Just.....a little older. With a few more challenges. But many more blessings. And a deeper soul.
I'm slowly returning to earth.
Yes, I know. It's been years. Literally.
But it really seems like I was in a galaxy far far away for a while and now it's time to come back to earth. (If you can call Provo, UT 'earth').
So. I'm married.
I'm a zoobie.
I still have a long school life ahead of me.
I'm a brunette now.
And....I've discovered a personal demon inside my mind called GAD. General Anxiety Disorder. Or... as I like to call it, the strange clarity sucking cloud that I wish I could punch but can't see.
You could also call it Groping for Air in a Deep abyss.
Sometimes, I wonder what happened to the me who used to write this blog. Where did she go? Why is she so different? Can she write again? Is naïveté the cure for lethargy? Is she better in a small way? Or is she all worse?
My counselor would try to help me see that you can lose naïveté without losing childlike joy and optimism. I believe her. But I haven't practiced it enough to learn how.
If you were a little fly following me around nowadays, you'd find me cooking, cleaning my house, playing my piano, painting, doing yoga in my living room and probably laughing and laughing at my husband dancing around the house in his underwear.
You might see me listening to a new audio book while I go running.
Or....baking homemade bread.
I'm still Shelby.
Just.....a little older. With a few more challenges. But many more blessings. And a deeper soul.
I'm slowly returning to earth.
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