The Queen of Willy Nilly

I've had another adventure in my painting class recently. We started our watercolor unit. I was slightly apprehensive about this because I've never watercolored before unless you count those awesome coloring/paint childrens books where you paint water on them and...Wah-lah! Color appears. Yes, that is my only experience with watercolor. And I kind of had this great vibe going of "being an artist" (most people in that class are seniors who need a fine arts credit and don't know squat about music/drama/expression/art/emotion.....you know). I shamefully admit I was afraid of losing the "artist" rep. Also, afraid of dissapointing myself with my lack of skills. I just...like doing something well.

This is where willy nilly comes in. Because I have this horrible weakness. I just said I like doing things well. And I do! I love doing things well. But, I like doing things well....without practicing. Or without working at a gruelling pace. I am impatient with myself. I just. Like it done. And done well. And done quickly.

Effieciency is key.

That is my motto.

So, my dear friend, MacCoy, was observing me in my first attempt at watercoloring. I think he has mixed emotions of loving watching me in class and hoping I will do something terribly wrong.

After fretting about the room for half the class looking for a good reference, I decided on this Monet piece:

Good choice, ya?

So I set to work and by the end of the class, I realized I could watercolor too if I tried! Amazing. I always get these epiphanys.

This is what I came up with:

Ok... so it doesn't look quite like Monet's picture. (also it's just a bad picture. Picture of a picture, if you catch my drift) But, that's to be expected! It's watercolor. And I was just adding my own artistic flare. Expression! Emotion!

MacCoy, there and then, dubbed me as "The Queen of Willy Nilly".

I secretly really like the title. I might even start wearing a crown. Or just pretend people are bowing at me in the halls of Lone Peak as I walk by. Or maybe they will start walking ten feet behing me and at lunch time I will hear the mob of students yell

"Long live Queen Willy Nilly!"

"Hail to the Queen!"

If I have a glazed look in my eye when you come to socialize next lunch period--you now know why.

After I was crowned The Queen of Willy Nilly by MacCoy, I decided it was best if I knew what willy nilly meant. Because....I didn't. Well, not really.

wil·ly-nil·ly [wil-ee-nil-ee]
–adverb


1. in a disorganized or unplanned manner; sloppily; haphazardly.
2. whether one wishes to or not; willingly or unwillingly: He'll have to do it willy-nilly.


–adjective


3. shilly-shallying; vacillating.
4. disorganized, unplanned; sloppy: willy-nilly work.


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Is that supposed to be a good thing?!?!?!?! I still can't decide. I guess it has it's pros and cons.

For instance, I taught piano today. My students are not willy nilly students. They are precise and when they practice they are wonderful! But when they don't...(like today *cough cough*) they can't really play. And don't improve. Which is completely normal.

For most people.

I never practice piano. It's such a horrid, wretched, habit of mine. If I practiced I could do SO MUCH MORE. SO MUCH.

Every once in a while I will sit and play for a couple hours. Just sight read some classical pieces or go through my old stuff from a few years ago. It's always great fun. And I always forget that I am decent at the piano. I realize if I worked at it I could play so many things! After all, there are tons of beautiful masterpieces I've never laid eyes on.

I definitely have the potential.

But my potential often times stays at the potential level. Or is really bipolar and grows to incredible heights soon after dying back down to just potential.

Potential is much better when it's not potential anymore.

Which is why being The Queen of Willy Nilly might not be the greatest thing.

Where is my decidation? Where is my gruelling work ethic? Where is my devotion?

I know I have all those things. I DO. They just.....hide sometimes.

Enough of this. I am going to develop my talents better. It's a commandment! What's the use of them wasting away underneath floorboards and in the dirt waiting for my master to return home? Nope. Not I. Just you wait. This is my goal to practice. To expand my horizons.

From now on, I will spend more time on my talents.




....just....let me finish my AP Lit Terms studying first....




....and perhaps....I can keep The Queen of Willy Nilly title?.......