The Peeing Pupil Puzzle

 It all started while I was reading Clementine to the class. In this children's novel, Clementine is a spunky girl who is in constant warfare with the pigeons dirtying up her window sill. As I am rendering this story to my 2nd graders, a hand raises.
"We all decided that she should put diapers on the pigeons so they poop inside the diapers"
Another child pipes up:
"No! We decided that diapers wouldn't help any because they would just get really full and fall off onto the people".
"Ewwww" the class somehow says in unison. It's as if they plan these things.

An argument breaks out.

Help me. 

I reel their attention back in by trying to get them interested in the story again. Thankfully, it works out alright but immediately after the bell rings for recess. My cooperating teacher and I get the kids all lined up when Joshua--the troublemaker of the class--bursts through the door gasping for breath.

"There's pee on the floor in the boys bathroom! He did it again!"

Chaos breaks loose.

Children are gasping and gossiping and the line of 7 year old looks more like a clump of bees flitting around the classroom in a excited panic.

I didn't realize pee was such a big deal.

My cooperating teacher runs out to the hall and into the boys bathroom. Of course, all the students follow along with the four other 2nd grade classes and their teachers.

One teacher tries to bring order back to the school "Alright 2nd graders, out to recess!". They scramble away.

Curious, I make my way over to the huddle of teachers.

"Every day for two weeks this has been happening." one of them whispers.
"Even after applying the check-out system it doesn't seem to have stopped him!" another exclaims.
"Didn't they put a camera by the door over there?"
"Ya, but we still don't know the culprit."
"Kids these days..."
"Do you think he just misses?"
"No. It's definitely intentional."
I head back to my classroom and hear:
"Does he think he's funny or something?"

....Well. He's right. Whoever the peeing pupil is. He is hilarious. He probably thinks he is the most rebellious, coolest, little boy at the school. He probably writes about his peeing crimes in his journal each night, documenting the reactions and tactics he uses to escape the check-out system and video camera. Maybe he does it during P.E. to avoid writing his name on the white board. Or perhaps he has created a rotation among his peers to cause distress to their teachers and a good mystery for the students.

I think he's genius.

What a crack up.

I hope they don't find him for a while.

Maybe one day he will get up during the assembly and confess. Then run away as the principal and administrators try to pin him down in order to give him proper punishment. The students will cheer and shout and maybe they will follow him out the back in a huge crowd and he will turn and wave as he runs off into the sun away from the school forever.

I can't wait to be a teacher.