Amour (02)

Day 02: Your first love.

In my mind, "your first love" has two definitions.

#1 Your FIRST love
#2 Your first LOVE

So...as both or equally significant in my life; I will tell you the tale of both.

#1 My FIRST love

Oh. The joy. My first love started at 2 months old. When my next door neighbor was born. Yes, we were instantly betrothed. We grew up together. Squeezed into plastic kitchens. Wore clown and tiger suits.

Loved Winnie the Pooh. Named ourselves Simba and Nala.

Yes. That is me being REALLY excited about my Simba and Nala toys. Of course I am Nala, and he is Simba. And YES, our magnetic noses are touching. See the excitement? Beauty.

We were getting married. No doubt about it. We played with our collections of Beanie Babies and stuffed animals. We'd also play action figures and just lay on the floor in his room and laugh and laugh...or feed his stuffed Pumba with bugs. We made mud pies. We went on picnics. We turned our bicycles upsidedown and pretended they were ice cream machines. We wrote with chalk. We played town. We played house (we were always married). We did everything together. Preschool. Kindergarten. 1st grade. We were in all the same classes. And everyone knew we were in love, of course. Me and my attention seeking self wouldn't have had it any other way. We were best friends. Childhood sweethearts.

Then I moved.

But, Hakuna Matata! I wasn't even sad. Because I was coming back in two years and he would wait for me and then we would get married.

So he was gone. But I made a frame out of those plastic melting beads and put his 1st grade school picture in it and hung it in my room where I showed all my Malaysian friends my boyfriend. When I visited home I ran into his house and jumped on him and kissed him! I was so excited to see my future husband.

When I finally did move back from Malaysia, we decided we probably shouldn't get married anymore.

It was a sad day.

But we stayed friends.

I have been to almost every one of his birthdays and he has been to almost every one of mine.

Yes. I am the one sucking my thumb in the corner. I wish I was still a kid sometimes.

We have watched each other grow up and change and drift. We don't talk much anymore. He has moved out. My street feels a little empty knowing he isn't next door anymore. But I will always love him and remember him. There is something so special about childhood love. Something very special. He will always be in my heart no matter how far we drift or where we end up.
It was love with no sadness. No regrets. No drama. No questions. No hurt or heartbreak. Just simple, innocent, and...magical.

#2 My first LOVE

Ah. The teenageness. To quote a main stream country singer: when I was "FIFTEEN". And that's basically how it all went down. Love is a Battlefield, baby. A Battlefield. We met in Jr. High. That sums it up.

THE END

OK, OK, I'll give you a little more to live with.
MAJOR CRUSH. He was smart and charming and I was determined to have him. In my head it was this game; never REALLY knowing if he liked me or not, but hoping upon hope he did and continuing to fight for it. There was a lot of fun and "hanging out" and flirting and fighting and drama. But, it was one of the greatest times of my life. I learned a lot from him. And from myself. I was head over heels crazy about him and that's the first time in my life I'd felt like that so it was exciting and new and wonderful.

I'm definitely not the same girl I was then.

But, I am thinking and smiling and laughing to myself as I write this and remember...

As a first "boyfriend"(remember how I was in Jr. High? Ya. I was in denial), he has a special place in my heart too.

GUESS WHAT?!

We are still really great friends. Because of all this we became best friends. And still have that closeness in a lot of ways. It is wonderful.

Anyway, love is great.

Now as my previous betrothal has been brutally abandoned--I am just preparing myself for when I meet my "first TRUE love."

Day 02: COMPLETED