Oh man.
Oh man, oh man, oh man.
I am eighteen
(and 1/2...remember my half birthday last week?!) years old. According to the 26th amendment, I can vote. I can also buy dry ice. And run away to Vegas and get married without my parents permission if I really wanted to.
Yes, I am an adult.
Yes, I am going to college in a few short months.
Today I taught piano to a boy I've been teaching for FIVE YEARS. I love him and his little brother and sister whom I also teach. They call me "Miss Shelby". Every day when I leave their house I hear in unison "THANK YOU MISS SHELBY!". They were inspiration for my blog. They don't necessarily practice as much as they should, and they sometimes fight about who has to have their lesson first. But, today before I left their house, their mother stopped and asked me if I was going to be teaching piano next year or not.
My blood froze and I got all these knots in my stomach and tried REALLY hard to not let all the emotions welling up inside of me get past my chest. If they did, the tears would come.
I'm not teaching piano next year. I've been avoiding that realization for months and months. But, I'm leaving! to the far away town of Rexburg, Idaho. How in the world can I continue to teach the boy I have seen every week for five years?
I looked at him and could tell he was thinking the same thing. He didn't hug me or say anything, but I could tell he was feeling the same emotion I was. The girl with her curly blonde hair almost came and hugged me as she stopped bouncing around to listen to our adult conversation. I could feel all three of them and the love they had for me and I for them.
How can I leave?
I won't have a job. Teaching piano is out. Unless I start all over and get students up in college-aged-people populated Rexburg. I'm not so sure that will work out. And what about my nannying job? What about Blake, Andrew, and Carter? Who I sing songs to and feed and I see them every week as well. I won't be able to take care of them a gazillion miles away....
I can't tickle Carter and wink at him and see him laugh and laugh...
Where will I get any income?
How will I pay for school?
I don't even have a car!
AH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(this is my slightly hyperventilating and then puking it up in words on the computer)
No, I am not sad. I am really happy. Just especially sentimental.
Where did these feelings emerge? Well...it's been a long time coming. But, it hit me at
Spring Fling!
Oh how much fun I had. My secret longing of not being an adult showed through by taking my date to Chuck-E-Cheese. Don't look so incredulous! It was great! I used to love Chuck-E-Cheese.
In fact, when I was 7 years old I had my birthday party there, then immediately scrapbooked it the next day with the heading "A Beary Fun Party" (bears creepily encircled the page).
Spring Fling happens to be the last girl's choice dance I will ever attend. So, naturally, I decided to live up my
highschool childhood and go to Chuck-E-Cheese one last time. As a kid. NOT an adult.
After all, there motto is
"Where a kid can be a kid".
I admit, I was seduced.
That is exactly what I was looking for.
I put coins in my eyes
I competed to get the most tickets (273. Nice huh?)
I ate disgusting greasy and kid-sized pizza.....
....and cake(hand delivered by Chuck-E himself)....
....as I watched the creepy mechanical entertainment provided (they have gone modern. Chuck-E was singing his own version of Bieber's "Baby". Did you know he says 'baby' 55 times in that song? I digress...)
My date and I even got to take a personal picture with Chuck-E!
Oh! OH! I got to ride the up-and-down car next to Chuck-E and get our black-and-white photo printed!
Cade did too! (My shrinking charm didn't work out so well...)
That's better...
Aren't we all beautiful? And definitely Kids. We are so kids.
I had A BLAST. It couldn't have been a more fun last-girls-choice-dance-ever dance. Cade was the perfect date and I enjoyed every second of it.
I do admit though....there were moments of nostalgia....where I couldn't help taking a small sentimental journey throughout high school and the 30+ dances I have attended.
I am going to miss high school dances. I know they don't really matter, but I looked forward to them a lot.
When I got home and had spent the entire day being a kid at Chuck-E-Cheese, I realized I'm not a little kid anymore. Maybe at heart, but still: I have a lot of responsibility coming my way.
Sad moment.
But I have tons to look forward to as well. And what about being a kid with
MY kids?! That can happen right?
Life is good.
I am happy.
And very grateful right now.
Even though I have Senioritis pretty bad and it's hard to go to school and I just waste my time writing on this wonderful blog of mine.
Guess what?!
ITS SPRING. Just the thought is like a ball of sun entering into my stomach and filling my whole body with
HAPPINESS!
I love the Spring.
Life is forever going to be full of happiness. Even if I do have responsibility and I'm leaving away from home and becoming an adult.
It's just another stage! Where I can be a child at heart and love the new and different things that come my way.
It's all perspective, right?
Essentially:
Anywhere,
is a place
where a kid can be a kid.
