L-O-V-E (05)

Day 05: Define Love.

"What is LOVE?! Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me--no more" YA! Stake dances, baby.
I digress.
This is my question:
What is love?

About 80% of songs are about love.
I'd guess a similarly high statistic for movies.
Obviously, to us humans, love is important.
But what is it?

Love is broad.

It can mean about a gazillion different things.

Sometimes, these words all relate to love:
sweet, awesome, like, cool, affection, romance, passion, time, hobby, favorites, family, friends, relationships, interests, boyfriend/girlfriend, marriage, charity, true-love, puppy-love, childhood-love, teenage-love, obsession, pleasure, service, caring, leisures, satifaction, food, appreciation, admiration.

Love is...
blind.
the sweetest thing.
a song that never ends.
a battlefield.
a dangerous necessity.
here to stay.
the tender trap.
a merry-go-round.
a friendship set on fire.
patient.
kind.
spoken here.

L-The way you look at me!
O-The only one I see
V-VERY VERY EXTRA-ORDINARY
E-Even more than anyone that you adore.
All that I can give to you.

Ya. Everything is about love.
The list goes on. Love is...a broad word. It can have so many different uses and intentions and connotations and subtlies and twists.

And this is probably why the 30-day-challenge-that-I-am-slightly-tired-of-right-now poses this interesting topic.

Because the word love is so overused and underused at the same time. It is powerful and meaningless. It is wholesome and profane. It is the best thing in life-and the worst.

Except those are lies... Because love IS good. At least--the true and untainted meaning of love. It's the things that pretend to be love that maybe cause heartache and pain. Or maybe it's the selfish part of love. No. That's not right. Because love isn't selfish.

Who am I kidding? I can't answer what love is.

When it boils down to it, google search and itunes just doesn't do my research justice. This is where I get my answer:

John 13:34
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

So...using that blessed thing called logic: we are commanded to love as Christ loves us.

The pure love of Christ; the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another; the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection.

This is what love is.
What it TRULY is.
The noblest, highest, and strongest kind of love.
And for some odd reason it's the biggest secret-that-doesn't-want-to-be-a-secret in the whole world.
Nobody knows what love it.
This is what love is.

Day 05: COMPLETED

Food! GLORIOUS FOOD! (04)

Day 04: What you ate today

Once upon a time there was a beautiful baby girl. Born with moonlight on her golden hair she was the jewel of her parents' eyes...

Alright, you caught me. You've heard this story.

Well. This story has a sequel.
An alternate ending...if you will.
Let me refresh your mind.

Flowery meadows. Beautiful blossoming girl. She loved food. Jealousy. Unknown-hated-hidden-allergies. Blood-passing-out. Waiting. MILK. GLUTEN. EGGS. Denial. Fight. Scorn. Family disease. Unknown-hated-hidden-allergies laughter. SHE WILL CONQUER. She starves and dies.

A SHELBY STORY II (alternate take)

Once upon a time there was a beautiful baby girl. Born with moonlight on her golden hair she was the jewel of her parents' eyes. She rapidly grew up to be a senior. At the begining of the year Unknown-hated-hidden-allergies visited her and broke the news: she was allergic to gluten, milk, and eggs! She didn't know if she could ever survive again. All she could eat was corn chips and air(and muddie buddies). She did fight. Hard. And she conquered. UNTIL! She found out celiac's disease runs in her family. (Patience is a virtue, my friends: this is where it changes)

Her and her loving mother were worried. She went off gluten, milk, and eggs for a short period of time so that they could figure out how to eventually vanquish the Unknown-Hated-Hidden-Allergies.

She went to the doctor.

He took her blood.

She DIDN'T pass out!

She was put on some medication.

She got a horrible allergic reaction.

She itched herself so much she bruised.

She was put on steriods.

She feels a little weird...

But MUCH better.

And then guess what happens, my friends?

THE TEST RESULTS FROM THE DOCTOR CAME BACK.

Beautiful, lovely, blossoming, womanly, Shelby is NOT a celiac!

AHHHH AHH!!!!! AH! AH!!!!! AH!!!! AH AH AH AH !!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO! YIPPEEE!!!! YAHOO! YES. Food. Glorious food.

Confession: I am Shelby. Shocker, huh?

So guess what I have been eating? Rolls. Burritos. Bagel Bites. NORMAL cereal! Cake. Pasta. Cookies!

Ok....so not the healiest diet. But give me a break here? Too much doctors and sickness and emotions and only eating air has put me on a stress high. So I am splurging. But, no worries. I will begin eating healthy again...tomorrow.

All of you who thought writing about what you ate on this Day 04 of the fun-but-kind-of-lame-still-have-mixed-feelings thirty day challenge...you were WRONG!

I'm not a celiac!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!

Hopefully the desperation and excitement in this picture gives you a slight idea of my joy


Day 04: COMPLETED

A Daughter (03)

Day 03: Your Parents

I love my parents.
They have taught me everything I know.
They inspire me.
Paul Frampton:
Pleasant. Hard-working. Spiritual.
Jennifer Lewis:
Strong. Loving. Smart.

They are funny.

And they love each other.

I want to love my kids like my mom loves us.

I want to marry someone like my dad.

I love them.

Day 03: COMPLETED

Amour (02)

Day 02: Your first love.

In my mind, "your first love" has two definitions.

#1 Your FIRST love
#2 Your first LOVE

So...as both or equally significant in my life; I will tell you the tale of both.

#1 My FIRST love

Oh. The joy. My first love started at 2 months old. When my next door neighbor was born. Yes, we were instantly betrothed. We grew up together. Squeezed into plastic kitchens. Wore clown and tiger suits.

Loved Winnie the Pooh. Named ourselves Simba and Nala.

Yes. That is me being REALLY excited about my Simba and Nala toys. Of course I am Nala, and he is Simba. And YES, our magnetic noses are touching. See the excitement? Beauty.

We were getting married. No doubt about it. We played with our collections of Beanie Babies and stuffed animals. We'd also play action figures and just lay on the floor in his room and laugh and laugh...or feed his stuffed Pumba with bugs. We made mud pies. We went on picnics. We turned our bicycles upsidedown and pretended they were ice cream machines. We wrote with chalk. We played town. We played house (we were always married). We did everything together. Preschool. Kindergarten. 1st grade. We were in all the same classes. And everyone knew we were in love, of course. Me and my attention seeking self wouldn't have had it any other way. We were best friends. Childhood sweethearts.

Then I moved.

But, Hakuna Matata! I wasn't even sad. Because I was coming back in two years and he would wait for me and then we would get married.

So he was gone. But I made a frame out of those plastic melting beads and put his 1st grade school picture in it and hung it in my room where I showed all my Malaysian friends my boyfriend. When I visited home I ran into his house and jumped on him and kissed him! I was so excited to see my future husband.

When I finally did move back from Malaysia, we decided we probably shouldn't get married anymore.

It was a sad day.

But we stayed friends.

I have been to almost every one of his birthdays and he has been to almost every one of mine.

Yes. I am the one sucking my thumb in the corner. I wish I was still a kid sometimes.

We have watched each other grow up and change and drift. We don't talk much anymore. He has moved out. My street feels a little empty knowing he isn't next door anymore. But I will always love him and remember him. There is something so special about childhood love. Something very special. He will always be in my heart no matter how far we drift or where we end up.
It was love with no sadness. No regrets. No drama. No questions. No hurt or heartbreak. Just simple, innocent, and...magical.

#2 My first LOVE

Ah. The teenageness. To quote a main stream country singer: when I was "FIFTEEN". And that's basically how it all went down. Love is a Battlefield, baby. A Battlefield. We met in Jr. High. That sums it up.

THE END

OK, OK, I'll give you a little more to live with.
MAJOR CRUSH. He was smart and charming and I was determined to have him. In my head it was this game; never REALLY knowing if he liked me or not, but hoping upon hope he did and continuing to fight for it. There was a lot of fun and "hanging out" and flirting and fighting and drama. But, it was one of the greatest times of my life. I learned a lot from him. And from myself. I was head over heels crazy about him and that's the first time in my life I'd felt like that so it was exciting and new and wonderful.

I'm definitely not the same girl I was then.

But, I am thinking and smiling and laughing to myself as I write this and remember...

As a first "boyfriend"(remember how I was in Jr. High? Ya. I was in denial), he has a special place in my heart too.

GUESS WHAT?!

We are still really great friends. Because of all this we became best friends. And still have that closeness in a lot of ways. It is wonderful.

Anyway, love is great.

Now as my previous betrothal has been brutally abandoned--I am just preparing myself for when I meet my "first TRUE love."

Day 02: COMPLETED

As Beautiful As The Sky: Dona Nobis Pacem

As you can see, this is not a 30 days topic. Too bad. It has been taking up my time the last week and deserves it's own post.
It's called:
Dona Nobis Pacem by Ralph Vaughn Williams
A masterworks concert with Alpine districts honor choirs and orchestra.
It was a privilege to perform such an inspiring and beautiful piece. Not to mention being directed by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's director Dr. Murphy.
Ah! It was so motivating and satisfying. The piece consists of six movements and ends up being around 45 minutes long. But it is just incredible.
This excerpt below is probably my favorite movement IV. Dirge for Two Veterans.



And that is just a taste, my friends.
Even though my back is aching and my chamber dress is smelly and my feet hurt and I haven't done anything but sing with an almighty gusto for 48 hours;
it was SO worth it.

Vivacité (01)

I conformed. (if confused: look down at my previous previous post. I gave in.)

Live a little, right? This could be fun.

Here goes.

Day 01: Introduce yourself with pictures and words

As I pondered how to introduce myself, I kept thinking of that game "if you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be". Its stuck in my head. So this is what I am doing. But--I am complex, and one word doesn't really give you a full idea of the essence of me. Also the rule of today is with "pictures and words". So. I am going to do that. Describes myself with words.

Drumroll......

Shelby.

Vivacious.

                               Effusive.                           Teacher
                                                           Warm.

                                                                                     Malaysia                         Pleasant.
               Loud.
                                                     Lively.                                             Pianist

Free.

                       School                                        Bold.

                                                                               Lover                                                   Anxious.

                       Utah                                  Short.

                                                                                                                  Blue eyes.

   Driven.

                                                                            Loving.

           Whimsical.                         Yellow

                                     Explorer                                                                                            Quick.

                                                          Insecure.

                                                                             Effecient.
A Leader.
                                         Personable.
 Admirer                                                                                                                 Emotional.
                                                                                         Smart.
                Naive.
                                                             Childlike.                              Mormon
Joyful.
                                                                                 Woman                                       Curious.
            Excited.          Travler
               Eccentric.
                                                                               Nerd.
                                                                                                                                               Realistic.
                              A Dreamer.                                                  Reader
                                                                                                          Faithful.
Impassioned.                                                                  Determined
                                                          Unique.
                                      Writer                                                                                        Daughter.
Singer                                        Friend.                                        Daisies
       Enthusiastic!
                                Adventurer                                                                   Spiteful.
                                          Expressive.

                                                                                                  Life                                         Dominant.

Animated.                                                                                                               Fearful
                                                                       Aspiring.
                      Believer.                                                                          Hopeful.
                                                           
                        Learning                           Religious.                    Simple.
Painter

ME.

I think I am these things. Some I like about myself. Some I don't. But you really can't get to know someone by a bunch of words. You have to see them. Feel their presence. Their demeanor. Their attitude on life. Feel the memories and experiences that drive them. Feel what they love and what they despise.

What they ARE.

....But this is still a good start.

So take a small glimpse of me.

I hope you enjoy.

Day 01: COMPLETED.

When The Pot Boils, Friendship Blooms

Past 24 hours: SO GOOD. You know those days that just get better and better and you can't believe how nice people are to you and what fun you have. Giddiness. That was my day today.

It all started last night...

When I walked into THE ice cream parlor. THE classiest ice cream parlor I've ever seen! Spoon It Up was it's name. I take a look at my surroundings. Above: teal blue painted ceiling with an abstract assortment of glowing chandeliers. Left: Clear glass chairs and tables with a lounge section of all white couches and paintings and foliage. Slightly more left: 4 men. In suit coats. Scarves. Dark hair. Clean. Trimmed. Blue Eyes. Pleasant. Having quiet conversation as the ate their ice cream. Right: An assortment of organized toppings and flavors. Very neat. Also. A worker. Another man. 24 maybe. Classy. Perfect Height.  Short brown hair. Stubble. Charming smile.

OK. Listen first to this concession: I have never had a celebrity crush. Never had a stranger crush. Never even been interested to get some guys number unless I had already gotten to know them. NEVER.

But I admit, I was smitten.

I have been on the look out for classy men. I don't really think many of them exist yet in high school. Maybe a few. But I'm just waiting until they return from their missions. THEN it will be different. Right?....

But this man! He was so classy and charming and beautiful. And I was this silly 18 year old with a bunch of 12-year-olds at mutual. So...you can imagine how well that turned out.

Secret: I talked to him for a while and laughed and smiled and basically turned into jello and he stalled at the door and said bye to me. Oo baby baby! He was totally interested ;)

Then I get home and received a sweet and sincere email from a close friend that made my day. With much appreciation: giddiness increased.

I woke up this morning and went to school early and entered my foods class.

Oh the joy.

I love my foods class.

Examine Picture:

Doesn't that just sound GREAT?! And of course--one of my best friends Ryan shares that 80 minutes of time every A-day morning with me as we cook and boil...things....and friendship BLOOMS!

Today was our cooking final where our Kitchen (Kitchen 4: Emily, Bethie, Ryan, and I) created a theme based meal with all the food groups, set our table, and all that jazz. As a group--we decided to have a romantic candlelit dinner (breakfast). It turned out to be superb.

Listening to some sweet serenades such as La Vie En Rose with Louis Armstrong, The Way You Look Tonight with Tony Bennett, I'll Be Seeing You with Billie Holiday; the list goes on. The mood was set. The food was delicious. We were satisfied.

We better get an A.

Oh, I am going to miss that class.

We enjoyed conversation during the meal and Ryan presented me with a single rose. The bell rung, and I was escorted to my next class.

(this is all an a slightly joking manner....but it was still nice)

Then my whole day people were just so nice to me! I could hardly believe it. Quite uplifting.

Compliments.

Waves.

Smiles.

Screams.

Great.

As I am telling my friends how nice I have been treated today I open my scriptures in Seminary and someone has left me another note! Telling me to smile and have a great day.

Oh the irony.

I also had ice cream with one of my dear friends who is leaving on his mission next week!

I am proud of him.

Very proud.

I enjoyed talking to him.

Today I realized a little something about men. They can be really nice. Shocker? Well, it shouldn't be. But I sometimes have this cynical and bitter attitude towards the opposing gender because of their differences and lack of...presence. But I was grateful for them and their differences and their kindness today. Hm. Hopefully it lasts a while.

I also learned something else today.

By small and simple things, great things come to pass.

Everyone's small acts of kindness and gratitude and love just built up to be a great thing. At least to me. It meant a lot.

I love love.

So.

Thank you.

To quote a wonderful song:

"Everybody, everybody wants to love. Everybody everybody want to be loved! Love"