Today.

An opportunity came.



If you are confused, scroll down....a little more.....a little more. See that post? Jammin' Toast? Well, I talk about how I am bad at grasping opportunities. And also how I WAS GOING TO GRASP OPPORTUNITIES.

Now listen to my day.

Stake conference: exceptional. Come home: nap. Then I prepare for my potential BYU-I roommate to come over and meet her for the first time. I whip up some pancakes, bake some cookies, and clean the kitchen. Her family comes over and Hannah too because all three of us are rooming, and we enjoy a wonderful typical Sunday meal at the Framptons' (except the pancakes were green this week for Saint Patrick's Day).

I really liked my potential roommate. She was pleasant and kind. I discovered she is incredibly talented as well. She played a ten minute 3rd movement of Opus 54 (or something like that) on the piano! Showing up my jazzy version of Jingle Bells by a long shot. Her dad sits down at the piano and asks what my favorite jazz song is. Hannah pipes up and tells him for me "It Was Only A Paper Moon". OK, Maybe not my FAVORITE. But, one of them. He starts playing it. No sheet music. Just the most beautiful jazz piano ever. My heart melted (it always does a bit when I listen to jazzy love songs). So I start to sing with him. We jam together. Singin' and playin' Paper Moon while our families enjoy. Awesome experience.

I'm shown up once again finding out my potential roommate is a wedding singer and she sings some song in this gorgeous rustic voice of hers. But I enjoyed it. I show her my room and the three of us make a nice cake. Then they head home. Hugs later, they are out the door. My mom asks how I like her and I truthfully say I think she is really fun and very talented.

Then my mom informs me: "Ya, her dad actually owns his own recording studio. His brother coached David Archuleta. The whole family is in the music business!"

MOTHER. WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME THIS ONE MINUTE EARLIER BEFORE THEY LEFT MY HOUSE. WHY?!?!


My mind went through all the possibilities.

Shelby Frampton: Wedding Singer.

Shelby Frampton: Jazz Vocalist.

Shelby Frampton: Concert Pianist.

Meh. But the man with the recording studio just left my house. Without me sharing my talents very well at all. Just a sloppy piano Christmas piece and a casual singing along to his amazing jazz skills. Not to mention his daughter could do the above occupations lightyears better than I could.

My goal?! MY GOAL.

I feel so inadequate.



It's like the time The Voice of Disneyland (Yes, I just said the Voice of Disneyland) came to my house to see his niece in MY piano recital. Who works for Disneyland. Who also heard me play my mediocre Jazzy Jingle Bells.

He demonstrated "Welcome to Disneyland! the Happiest Place On Earth now celebrating 50 YEARS OF MAGIC!"

He continued. But I was in so much awe that I don't remember anything he said. His voice was so familiar. Like I had known him my whole life. Like he was MY CHILDHOOD.

I gawked at him for fifteen minutes.

Then he left.

And as he was walking out of my house I realized, It's Hannah's birthday. What an awesome present would it be if I had him call her and do his Voice of Disneyland act? Ya, that would be cool.

Then the nerves came. And the doubt. And the insecurity. And.....the door closed.

Why?


I ask myself all the time.




WHY?